Hi guys. Is it my imagination or is LJ down?

eta: nevermind. it's back. : )

ok, I made a reading list of all of you who told me you don't just duplicate content (or aren't sure) plus a few more who I don't think are on my LJ list. Now I can't find how to access it. I know how to edit the list but not how to just click on and read it. help! please?

My apologies, IJ people. I've been reading on LJ for a long time now. Also posting there. It's just that more of my f'list lives there than here. I miss some of you IJ-only people though and so I'm going to shrink my IJ f'list down so there is no overlap and start reading it again. Please help me figure out who I need to keep on my IJ f'list by answering this poll:

Poll #1451 who only posts here?
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

do you post content here that you don't post on LJ?

Thank you. : )

ps: actually, I guess it's a reading list I'm creating - not actually trimming my f'list. I might need the whole f'list if LJ goes down or a real migration happens or something.

I'm posting back at LJ again instead of here. There are just too many friends over there who never came here. I'm still checking my IJ f'list though.

If I were to move back to LJ only, would I lose any of you guys? I've lost track of who isn't there anymore.

As I've mentioned before, I'm fascinated by what has been happening with Britney Spears over the past year or so. Today I'm relieved this breakdown thing happened. I'd been guessing that she'd be found dead before she'd get the help she needs.

I don't know what her psych problems are but her environmental problems are obvious.

Way too much money. The money is interesting because it plays into so many things. Obviously, from her point of view, no one around her can be trusted - and it's true, that kind of money affects any and everyone no matter how good their original intentions. People turn into sycophants, the rich person becomes the center of everything, their perspective on the world goes all out of whack. This must be especially true when it's a young person who is that rich but the rest of her family isn't. Britney is the center of everyone's world around her. She's never just another person. I can't even imagine that kind of unrootedness. Reality is whatever Britney says it is because she's pretty much omnipotent in her world. There is no force to stop her.

And apparently, with her family and life focused purely on her career all this time, she has grown up with no values. None. I don't mean that in a moral sense even, just ... nothing to measure herself against. We all have some sort of ideals that we aspire to - intellectual, artistic, spiritual. Images of how we want to be/live. Things we've seen that we admire, people we want to be like, that sort of thing. From what I can see Britney doesn't have anything like that - just things that make her feel good physically - sex, food, drugs, drink, attention - and worst of all, the money to just keep feeding them.

I think the money has dragged out this custody change. Supervised visitation is a big deal - there have to be some bad circumstances for that to happen. A court-appointed monitor rather than a family member - I don't know, is that common down in LA? I think Britney must be paying for it. The court system doesn't have money for that. It must have been a matter of "you will accept and pay for this monitor or you will have no visitation with your kids." Damn serious. In someone with no money I think it would have been two hours at the park once every two weeks with the MIL supervising. The rich get more because they can pay for it. : /

Then there is her family. I just ... O.o Lynne Spears saw what happened to Britney but she still has Jamie in show business too? And she let her live with her boyfriend at 16? The thing that really gets me is Oprah's pal Dr. Phil going around saying what a great mom Lynne is. I am confused. Can anyone explain this to me? I think Dr. Phil must have bought into this idea that celebrity is in itself a good and something you should give your children if you can.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on poor Britney. For some reason I want to go in there and take care of her and straighten out her and her life. Ridiculous since she obviously has serious problems that require medical help - not an interfering suburban mom. It's all just so wrong though and I want to fix it - maybe banish her to some bare, sterile island off the coast of Maine with just a few buildings, minimal plumbing and wood burning stoves. Load her up with books and some interesting neighbors and leave her there for a few years? Something. Someone needs to take care of her - help her find a center, fill in the bits that were neglected.

All this talk about privilege and stuff has me circling back to an old question - money for kids. We stopped buying our kids "stuff" quite a while ago but they do get money here and there from family - Christmas, birthdays, Iranian New Year. They use it to buy what they want (video games) and so have learned the value of money, shopping wisely, saving. Vicky even impressed me this year by using her birthday money to buy everyone little Christmas presents. She chose well too. Anyway, that's all well and good but that money mostly comes at once - around the winter holidays. It's not really fair to ask them to use it for a whole year - a year is a very long time for a kid. Also, it's not *that* much money (though of course these things are relative). Once in a while we try to institute an allowance system. At first I was torn between tying it to chores/responsibilities and not. There are good reasons to not pay kids to do what they should be doing anyway. Still, in one of those little parenting cheats we all use from time to time, I have tied it to responsibilities. It just makes things easier.

Anyway, the system usually falls apart - too much going on for me to be consistent, the kids to be interested, etc. I'm thinking of trying again. I was hoping a little discussion would help me make up my mind and inspire me. I'd love to hear what you do, your parents did, and what you think. I'm curious about amounts because I'm usually at a loss there. That's getting a bit invasive though.

I think I'll add a poll for those who don't feel like typing out an answer. I would love to hear explanations though.

Poll #786
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

allowance

Hello my friends, it's been a busy season so I've been a bit absent but I'll post soon and catch you all up. (I know, you're all waiting with bated breath ; )

First though, I need to beg you for some techy advice. It's kind of basic but you know I'm ignorant like that.

I bought my mom an ipod shuffle for xmas. I loaded it with a bunch of my music off of itunes. I did it the way which made sense to me which is to make a playlist called "nana's shuffle" and then upload it to her shuffle. So far so good. Then she went home to AZ. Now she wants to add some more music to it. Um. How? My thought was that she would have to download the current playlist to her computer, add the new music to it again and then re-upload (synch?) it. But how? CAN you download the music from the shuffle to a computer? She doesn't have any of the music on her computer, just the few new songs she wants to add.

Help? My dad was grilling me about this over the phone but I have no idea so I said I'd ask you guys. F'list knows all?

I've been reading Richard Dawkins (almost done with Ancestor's Tale, Blind Watchmaker next) and it's making me feel so *good.* Some of these lay science books have the same effect as scifi-fantasy feel-good escapism on me. Or better. It feels like coming come, being enfolded in the arms of truth and reason.

DH is an engineer. I remember when we first got together umpteen years ago, he once said in the midst of some big discussion "but liberal arts people are just people who couldn't make it in math and science." He wasn't trying to be insulting, it was just an honest discussion. I, of course, got on my high horse and explained otherwise.

I wonder though. (Never let it be said I'm afraid of controversy).

I could never make it in math/science because I am so damn lazy. Philosophy and the like is plenty interesting and so much easier. You can just do it - sit there and think and talk and write. Sure, the difficult concepts take some painful mental gymnastics, and yes, I think literary criticism takes talent (not everyone gets those insights) but it's all so much more accessible than math/science - which takes damn hard work and energy.

Physics is the obvious subject, Is there anything more important, more fundamental, than physics? If we understood how everything worked, what is IS, matter, time, all those unimaginable dimensions, wouldn't we finally know what we are and what we can be? But omg, physics is the intellectual holy grail. I am smart as all hell and I cannot do physics. I have two shelves of books on lay physics, I have calculus texts, high school physics texts, I have tried, and I simply cannot do it. (Even though I got all A's in high school - math, bio, chem, physics, all of it). All I can do is admire from a distance.

Dawkins' Ancestor's Tale is about evolution. Genetics. I'd always heard it's complicated stuff but deep down I was all "eh, you have two parents, you get half your genes from each. Plus there's that dominant recessive thing, what more is there to know?" hahahaha. I love Dawkins because he tells me exactly how much there is to know - and how I will never really understand it. Statistics! Isn't that just, you know, averaging and graphing and stuff? hahahahahahahaaa. Dawkins explained why you need to plot brain/body comparisons using logs or whatever instead of straight ratios. I understood! For about two minutes! Ok, I get the whole volume going up exponentially thing but still - it's all effing complicated! These evolutionary biologists have to be chemistry and math whizzes. In order to come up with data they partner with physicists. Once in a while, when reading this stuff, I get a glimpse of the dizzying intellectual heights science has reached and I am in absolute awe.

There are science people out there on my f'list, aren't there? Don't you guys ever get frustrated at how liberal arts people don't really comprehend what it is you do? How far it goes? How demanding and exciting it is?

cryptic poll re real life

Poll #655 richard dawkins
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Richard Dawkins

I have a question for Calif parents or anyone who might know something about this. The most bizarre thing just happened to me. I was cleaning out our study and ran across a letter from the school I hadn't seen. How I missed it I don't know since I'm usually all over anything from the school. Anyway, it was dated last March saying that Michael had been recommended for GATE testing, that he'd be tested that month and I'd be mailed the results in August. I knew nothing about this. I assume he didn't get in since he's not in. I'm not sure he even took the test since I never got mailed any results (that I know of : /). So, I have a call in to the head of the program with questions. Who knows how long until I get an answer though. Anyway, I'm curious as to why he was even recommended. He's a very average student who struggles a bit with math. His one standout area is writing - all his teachers say his writing is pretty sophisticated but not the technical side - grammar and spelling of no interest to him. I can't see why they would rec him. I think he's smart but not in any way that would interest a school. So, what's the scoop, do they test as many kids as they can for some reason? Do they get extra $ for GATE kids?

I've been wanting to shift the focus of my online experience a bit. I'm a bit ignorant because I'm an AOL user since day 1 - therefore my news first comes to me via aol. From there I check LJ, IJ, go around to a few websites a frequent and then check google news. I was sort of thinking of making my LJ/IJ the central place with links to my favorite sites on the sidebar. That never really came to fruition though and now I'm drifting away from fandom and would like to shift my focus away from the journals. How do you non aol people organize things? When you first open firefox or whatever it is you use how is your stuff organized? Do you have one page with all your favorite stuff brought together ready for clicking? I don't mean bookmarks - I mean right there in front of you, maybe with little blurbs or something. I tried google reader - I thought that might be a good thing, it sounds like it's what I want - the problem is it can't access friendslocked posts on LJ and IJ. Or I don't think it can.

I want one place where I have all my favorite websites in front of me ready for clicking on, and my friends' journals as sort of feeds maybe? I don't know. Maybe I don't know what I want. Maybe I need to *see* what it is you guys do.

Deliberately limited poll. Going for gut feeling.

Poll #617 sociobiology/evolutionary psychology
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

sociobiology and evolutionary psychology

Naughty or not meme going around my f'list:

"If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?"


(Now post this in your LJ and find out what mine would be).

pro or anti fandom_wank - one of our most deeply held fanpolitical beliefs - and yet we rarely talk about it.


Poll #599 fandom_wank - that comm over at journalfen
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

fandom_wank:

Question 1: Why is that before I started watching SGA my whole f'list was talking about it all the time but now that I watch it there isn't a peep? What is the point of fandom if I can't go to my f'list and see a bunch of discussion after a new episode airs?

Question 2: Is there still a strong anti-porn wing to feminism or has that gone the way of the dodo?

Question 3: There is no Question 3 - as yet.

Well, y'all are railing against the crazies who are bashing jkr regarding this Lexicon ridiculousness. The idiocy of the Lexicon thing is so clear I was finding it hard to believe that such crazies actually exist. I don't think there are any on my f'lists and fandom_wank seems relatively sane on the question. I poked around some more and finally found one but she just seemed to be at bottom a jkr hater - feeling betrayed every since HBP. Basically, the books didn't turn out the way she wanted so she is deeply, bitterly, angry.

She pretty much counts as a crazy to me because - who can care that much? Surely when the author or whoever disappoints you on a point it's still "eh, it's her work - she just didn't take it in a direction I wanted but wheeee, there's always fanfic for the fix!" As I was thinking about all this I was feeling all smug because that was pretty much my reaction to DH re Snape. I was all, "it's a pretty good book but wtf did she go and make Snape so simple and shallow for? What a waste! Oh well, I guess she was never as into him as we were - so, where are all the fanfic fixes? Bring them on!" It was never *personal.* There was no entitlement blurring. See, me so sane, that person so crazy.

Or maybe it's just me so old and passionless and not really a "fan?" I remembered the last few seasons of the X-Files, where it really went all to hell to such a point that it seemed reasonable to be Very Angry. The Chris Carter hate was rampant. Extreme. At least in the noromo area where I hung out. *I* wasn't all that angry because I wasn't as into it as the real fans, I just watched the show and thought it had gotten boring and silly. Still, the anger out there seemed reasonable to me. It was like Carter never understood his own show and just ruined it.

So, were those people as crazy as that jkr hater I ran across today? Or is a different thing - justified in Chris Carter's case and not in JKRs? I don't know.

Sometimes my determination to look on the bright side of things can give me whiplash. First I get a Borders Rewards email tellng me I've earned $0.00 rewards dollars. Bummer, no free money. BUT that means I didn't spend a lot of money at Borders so yay! An hour later I get another email - "correction! You have earned $10.00 in Borders Reward money!" Damn, apparently I DID spend a lot of money at Borders. But ... free money, yay!

I've been quiet - my parents have been visiting, the kids are keeping me very busy. Sometimes I despair of ever regaining the emotional resilience I used to be so proud of. I soldier on.

Of the good: Fitday.com. This is a diet and fitness tracker calculator thingy that I am LOVING. It does all the math! It has pie charts and bar charts and graphs! You can fiddle with it for hours! And it's NUMBERS so if you're ever so slightly obsessive like me it keeps you totally honest and on track and kind of excited. I am forever grateful to accioslash for pointing it out.

Of the very, very, very good: Patrick O'Brian - have I mentioned him? : ) I took a little break from the books but am back. I just finished reading The Surgeons Mate (book 7). Oh, I love this book! So much happens! In my memory it was three books because there's so much in it! God, the books in this series just get better and better. The light and perfect and subtley hilarious turn of phrase. The achingly beautiful understatements. The sometimes bizarre and comical characters (Jagiello!). I love each and every paragraph. Every single one - and as you know, I don't usually pay any attention to language! Stephen in wonderful in the book - at his very best and Jack! Jack! So patient and just working away on the practical things that needs to be done in that sexy, dependable, competent way he has.

Come, talk to me about the books. Talk to me my pretties.

Sometimes my parents do these things that get me in a tizzy because they seem utterly odd and maybe crazy. Last spring they got rid of their couches and replaced them with two lazy-boy recliners - a week before we came to visit. I mean, not only was there nowhere for us all to sit but ... who the hell can live in a house with no couches?? Aren't couches integral to life?

Now they're due to visit us this weekend and stay a week. On their way they were going to go to Oceanside (coastal town between Los Angeles and San Diego) and stay for a couple of days in a hotel on the beach. So, yesterday I emailed them and asked if they were going to call ahead and make sure the hotel was still there before they go. Because of, you know, THE FIRES. My dad is a news junkie so there's no way they don't know about THE FIRES. My mom emailed back with "where would it go?" and my dad didn't reply at all. (Separate emails). So last night I emailed them a map of the fires - although there is NO WAY my dad doesn't know exactly where the fires are. Sure, they're not going to get burned up on the beach at Oceanside, but they have to get there, through the ring of fire, through all the disruption and everything topsy turvy. He replied to the map email with "I don't see a problem." So, I replied back with "well, be sure and check the air quality before you go." No reply. Then this morning I get an email from my mom saying they'd decided to skip Oceanside and come straight here.

Now I can't help thinking that if I didn't keep emailing them they would have gone! Am I overreacting to this fire? Would YOU have driven from Phoenix to Oceanside TOMORROW come hell, high water or FIRE, just because that's what you'd planned to do and had the hotel booked? Are the unpredictable fires and air quality not a big deal? I guess the bottom line is ... shit .... do I have to start keeping an eye on them now? Have they lost their ability to make common sense judgments? Please tell me no.

I'm feeling so ambivalent about maintaining a presence in fandom these days. I love fandom - the fic, the art, the generosity of all of you in producing and sharing it. I also love the fannish squee about things. The interaction isn't working so well for me these days though. My friends are great and all but my f'list is broader than that and the controversial topics are dragging me down - harshing my mellow, as it were.

Practically speaking, moving to insane journal hasn't worked for me very well. I moved for two reasons: a) solidarity with my nervous nc-17 and chan fic producing friends who were fleeing from the LJ (or who said they were) and b) my own wanting to get far away from anyone interested in controlling content. I am very libertarian about the internet and fandom. I wasn't really all that mad at LJ - it's their playground, they can do as they please - I just figured fandom had good reason to move so I would link arms and go with them.

Turns out that many of my friends didn't come though and now I'm losing touch with them. This is a real disappointment. I'm reading them on LJ but they're not reading me on IJ. Then today I realized that someone had defriended me on LJ who I've known for years - her reason being that I'd abandoned my LJ. Now I can't read her locked journal. I dunno, maybe the people relationships don't count for all that much in fandom after all. hmm, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just acknowledging that I'm becoming a lurker where fandom is concerned. The people parts have defeated me.

On the upside, I've been devouring SGA fic lately and omg, it is such a pleasure. I've decided that John and Rodney might have this deep love thing going on but they're still in denial - meanwhile, John and Ronon are SO doing it.

Also, I've stalled in my QI- watching. I started to get a bad vibe from Stephen and Alan in Season 3 - did I imagine that?